As I journey through my natural breast cancer healing I have come across MANY emotions and thoughts. It's kinda like a floodgate and they all pile up and start overflowing. There are good days and bad days. There are happy days and depressing days. Just like any other time in your life where we all experience emotion whether it be love, anger, elation, pride, frustration, agitation, strength, weakness, vulnerability, heart-pounding joy, and the list goes on. I can recall a few very vivd moments when my emotions felt amplified and micro-scoped. While researching all I could and piling mounds upon mounds of information in my head, I found myself feeling explosive. Like I could not cram any more into my head. I was forgetting little things that I never forget. I felt so explosive I did not know how to handle what I was feeling. It was foreign to me and it felt crappy. One day I was in full-work mode at one of the gyms trying to get "things done" and every turn there was something that was slowing me down and I was getting REALLY frustrated.
From this I developed my first legit cancer-fighting motto "let it go" and " detox your life". I even developed some phrasing for a Fly Girl and made a retractable banner with these words. (up above) I am a big advocate in surrounding yourself with what you want to be, in the environments that help you be that, and around the people that can also help you develop into that intention or vision. I believe this is a great tool to help you achieve change. Change can be very challenging. We all will go through changes throughout our lifetime. Which brings me to the word "fear". I have always believed that this "fear" is what holds us back, what makes us do or believe certain things, why we sometimes stay in our safe zone, why we might have insecurities, and why we might have racist or judgmental qualities. We act out of fear sometimes and it can be a pretty ugly picture and it can be very self deprecating.
My NEW improved MOTTO...
As I analyze my own self and my own habits and reactions I now realize in certain areas of my life I let FEAR sway me. It could be a little fear or a big fear and it could also be a FAKE fear. Fake meaning I look at it now and ask myself " why did i do that? or react that way? or why didn't I speak up? or why did I not just try to do that? why did i procrastinate?" and really the list goes on and on for me.... Fear for losing what? Fear of being what? Fear of people thinking what? I would like to quote Katt Williams and say my new motto is like IF you were gonna take a hit from a joint and you get high and you have an attitude that feels like... "fu++ it!". So what! Who cares! Well I care. BUT why? If I was truly in touch with my spirit I think I would have known better. I think I would have been able to put on a smile and go ahead with the things that really gave me joy and happiness and laughter, no matter what. I would have been able to be in this material world and been able to move down my TRUE path. Well no more! I AM working on it and coincidentally the "I AM" is part of the resolution. Look up different forms of meditation and read about the I AM and maybe this will start to make sense. The " I AM" is a whole other subject that has lots of sentiment and is a tool to help people CHANGE and grow and be confident and set intentions to what and where they want to be. We act out of fear so we need to FEAR LESS and be FEARLESS. FEAR holds us back and does not allow us to live our lives completely and fully. FEAR can paralyze us. FEAR can hinder us. FEAR makes us act out unnecessary judgements. FEAR is NOT my friend right now BUT I will walk side by side with FEAR so I can move out of FEAR. Friends with the Enemy, right? Maybe a passive aggressive way to deal, but hey, gotta do what ya gotta do.
So namaste Friends, I have some fears to go battle. I shall return!