a continuance on my breast cancer natural healing mission
As I started to declutter my house, my closets, and my pantry, my soul started to shake a bit. I became weepy at a moments notice. I swear my spirit was beginning to detox. I was having all sorts of "aha moments" about relationships both past and current, both family and friends. I was seeing clarity in relationships. I was seeing things I wanted to be different in relationships. I was seeing my downfalls and contributions to NOT having success in GREAT relationships with really most people in my life. I feel like I have been on auto-pilot the past 10 years. I have been pretty numb to just about everything and just getting through each day. THIS was a problem for me and I did NOT like it! The feeling of feeling "UN-fulfilled" when I have so much to be grateful for baffled me. I am writing this blog on week 16 so I am looking back a bit and still figuring everything out. I will say this " I am in the Works". I always have been on a mission to be the best version of me and to be happy. I have never felt "there" yet. I am learning slowly but surely to enjoy the process and that "there" is "here and now". What can I say? I am a product of life today? I hope to drastically CHANGE this part of me. To be honest, I think THIS is the hardest part of ALL the parts about detoxing your life and filling yourself back up with goodness. The Soul is definitely a part of all of us and separate of our physical body that seems to take charge all the time. I think I will sit down and have a talk with my body today. Inspired by my hip-hop ness and the Geto Boys, "My Minds Playin' Tricks on ME"! AHA moment. Hello- this is exactly WHY I started a Fly Girl. Full Circle Moment. I am using my own product. Gee who would have thought I needed encouragement or support or a pick me up? :) Could this part of me be the connection to feeling fulfilled and moving forward with my passion and dreams in a way I never dreamed about? (stay tuned) browse this site if you have no idea what I am talking about. I started this BRAND about 3-4 years ago. It was a way for me to fuse my music, fitness, and fashion all together. Just like me, it is in the works. I am sure this journey will give me some directional points.
About a year ago I discovered the 21-day Oprah and Deepak Chopra Mediation series. LIKE them or start to read about it here... https://www.facebook.com/ChopraMeditation . I have always been into reading self-help books, but this seemed like a quick day to day thing I could start to incorporate. I listened to "Manifesting True Success" for 21-days and was hooked! Well, just like many, I became a bandwagon junkie. I would do it for a while, then fall off, then do it some more, then fall off. NOW was the TIME to re-open that APP and listen to them again! 20 minutes a day- in the morning is when I like these specific ones best. ALSO, when I am working from home on the computer I turn YouTube on and play a 6-hour meditation music video rather than just have the TV on in the background for company. These new sounds along with my NEW Essential oils ( which I will get to in another blog) seem to be having a very positive effect on my mood and temperament.
As I journey through each day it HAS to be approached " day to day" since there are really no instructions that are SIMPLISTIC on how to cure your own Cancer. It is multi-tiered, multi-layered, multiple emotions, many foods, daily devotions of fitness and meditation, many oils-herbs-supplements, and for me a NEW WAY of THINKING. I have always been what I call an "A-holic". I have an addictive personality and when I like something I jump right in and usually overdo it. On multiple times in my life I have shopped like a shop-a-holic, drank like an alcoholic, worked like a work-o-holic, and exercised like an exercise-a-holic. These were my vices along with watching the same movies over and over, listening to the same songs over and over, and eating the same snack foods over and over. I suppose that was what I was trying to fill myself up with all this time. Look where it got me. God works in mysterious ways. I get it now. I just hope I can keep my changes permanent and continue to dig deeper into a fulfilling life.
I am definitely at a crossroads. It feels very challenging to heal and change, then go out into the world that was knocking you down. My TOXIC radar is in full blast and I feel like I have my battle shield up. Whether it's food, house products, clothing, environments, people, or situations, it is easiest right now just to bow out and not participate until I feel stronger in my devotions and myself.
It sucks. I don't want to live like a hermit, it is finding the ways to pave new roads to a new me. I am trying NOT to overthink the future. Right? That's what I said, day by day! See I am already learning!
My investigations into Deepak Chopra and his "message" lead me to an Ayurvedic Lifestyle. When you begin practicing an Ayurvedic lifestyle, what you are really doing is starting a journey of self-discovery, mindfulness, and awareness. With this, comes an improvement in your overall well-being and your spiritual growth. I am just in the beginner stages so I don't have many answers, but I do know it is helping. There are a small handful of centers in Chicago/land areas that I am "experiencing" and trying to get my feet grounded. For some you could say this is "my church" even though there is no building you go to, it is looking inside yourself. You are your own temple, right? I am currently learning about the doshas, using herbs and oils, meditation, yoga, and meeting with a healer. It is helping me get through my emotions, release, let go, just be, and know that everything is ok. Dare I say I am becoming an Ayurvedic-aholic? :) I know, I know, don't get your panties in a bunch and think all these changes will make Tami boring. I always strive for balance and know that everyone has their own preferences, likes, beliefs, and own personal journey. I still want to kick is sometimes and drink my Biodynamic Cabernet and get tipsy. Point is, this is working for me and I wanted to share.
Check out my 1st Ayurvedic experience in this video!