It's true. Are we not ALL seeking happy and days full of sunshine? My past years have taught me that I have to be the creator of my days. It is up to me to fill them with what I please so that means my happiness lays in the palm of my hands. The battle has been putting that formula in action and having it work. Things are good. but would't it be awesome if they were great? Or even everything was the shiznit every day!! What does that mean and what does that look and feel like? I can imagine it is different for each person since we all lead independent lives with our own likes and beliefs. Even though breast cancer has visited me, it has propelled me into a life that is leading me towards that eternal bliss. I am still learning, but the afterglow of challenging times is brighter than I could have ever imagined.
We have learned and soaked in all the stuff from the past and we are here now. Everyone does the best they can at every moment in time. This is not time for the blame game. We have to be responsible for ourselves. We come to forks in the road and/or have moments of cloudiness, and/or act in certain ways that are displeasing to our soul. What do we do? Ride it out and let the emotion pass and keep doing what we are doing? Well let me tell you that is what I had been doing the past 10 years and it didn't work out so well. But if I put my yellow sunshine glasses on I can also say in the same breath that yes it got me here and I am starting to see and feel positive changes. In my house, nowadays these ideas are rumbling loudly... The idea that everything happens for a reason. The idea that what you put out is what you get back. The idea of taking charge of your own life and self. The idea of taking responsibility for your actions, words, and decisions. I call this Karma. I don't necessarily believe in reincarnation but it is fun to think about it. I think of Karma as the whole process of living life, learning life, learning about yourself, and taking strides to create the best version of yourself along the way. We all know it has it's ups and downs and when those downs are showing up repetitively in our lives, we can use it as a sign that something needs to change. This calls for self awareness.
If we cannot take a look at ourselves and help and treat ourselves in a loving manner then the world will never change. We will never change. We will never be free. We will never be truly happy. We will be stuck and stuck in " groundhog days". That is what I am happily moving out of and understanding. I thought I was self aware, but I had on some big a++ blinders. I made excuses and beat myself up and continued unhealthy patterns knowing it was not getting me where I wanted to be in life. I think a zombie took over my life for a hot minute. Well, lots of hot minutes. It's kind of awesome though because when you have your realizations and aha moments you start to change you, which then leaves room to create a new you, which then leaves room to create a new day, which then leaves room to create a new life, which then leaves room to really start to help create a new world. It really is a simple process that seems so complex. It's kinda like when I was telling my mom what I was using to clean my sink countertop nowadays. I was the queen of cleaning and would get out the bleach and tilex and mr. clean and windex, and soak up the toxic chemical fumes cause I just really wanted the house to be clean. That is what I knew. Then cancer came and after I learned and investigated about toxic chemicals, I changed. I also had to learn that the "New" clean smell around the house was actually clean. It was no longer the chemical and fragrance that were in all the cleaning bottles. So my answer to my mother was.... "i used soap and water". Who woulda thunk that the old fashioned soap and water would get my countertop just as clean. A simple solution. The lesson for me is that I got sucked up in all these modern day "fix its" and it was contributing to my life in very negative ways. We want everything quick and fast and a magic pill. It seems as though long gone are the days when you actually take the long route that is solid, trustworthy, proven to work, and often the journey of it is the fun part that adds to feeling fulfilled and complete. All you have to do is let yourself.....
What ever happened to the days of long bike rides, getting dirty, having messy hair, making a pitstop for ice cream, and falling off your bike getting a scraped knee then getting back on to finish the ride? I tell you what happened. Life happened and we had to grow up and be responsible? Of course yes we have to learn the basics of how to care for ourselves and possibly others. I think we got sucked up in a vacuum and have been spinning around and round for years. Perhaps I missed the boat and I am the minority here but as I shut off my tv and no longer subscribe to cable it is amazing at what I don't care about and what I am supposedly missing out on. Reality TV has become our norm and it is scary. I would actually get cable again if there was a reality show or news channel that felt good. I challenge you to really be aware of the emotions and feelings you are having or not having next time you sit down and watch tv. Were you watching animal planet and feeling warm fuzzies from the cute animals or were you watching reality tv getting sucked up into the drama and self inadequacies?