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get all up in it...

6/25/2018

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So as the days start to pass this summer and my joyful work schedule slows down, I find myself pondering what to do. How to create my 2nd half of life. How to lean towards all the feel good things and stay away from the not so feeling good things. I am realizing how my first half of life was created and how I got here… here as in this super transformational awakening I have been experiencing the past 3 years. I guess realistically it has been a 45 year awakening and the past 3 years have been the most climactic to date. I realize I have really stretched myself to expand as a person, am much more connected with my soul, and am realizing how I was contributing to the way life was and how much more joyful it can be when you just wake up. I did not understand what good felt like and am still working on it. I am finding that just getting out there and participating, existing, enjoying, laughing, connecting, talking with people, soaking up whatever environment you are in, is really the best plan of attack to start the ball rollin towards what you want and what you want to be. I didn’t realize how nonexistent I really felt. I didn’t realize I was hiding in work and behind people. I didn’t realize I had soaked up a bunch of low self- worth and low self-esteem and it effected how I interacted with the world and deeply effected the relationship with myself.  
I am finding great joy in traveling, new experiences, connecting with family and friends, and just chatting with people. It’s strange, I feel like I am getting a re-do for my life and I am in the exploring stage on where to go, what to do, how to be, and just live in the moment. I find myself observing most the time and have found great joy in observing my friends and family. I like to people watch but this is more like tagging along with some of your favorite people in different experiences. I enjoy to see them happy and laughing and smiling. I enjoy seeing them interact with one another and I am learning that life is just about diving in or dipping your toes in the water or simply put  just “get all up in it” whatever experience it might be. I am admittedly socially awkward at times and feel uncomfortable in many situations but I am pushing through and excited to get to the next chapter of life. So In the meantime I will be soaking up the sunshine this summer in chi-town awaiting to see what the fall season might bring this way.

It will be on to the next one, then on to the next one, then on to the next one, experiencing life, moving on , moving forward, and letting all my desires unfold before my eyes. It will be expansion and growth and learning my "self" better so I know how to keep the positive outlook and the feel good stuff in tact. I feel kinda like a newborn and kinda infantile at times right now. It is humbling and vulnerable and a bit uncomfortable at times but well worth the journey. I value my friends and family and look forward to the new people that might vibrate right into my life based on the new me! I am excited to continue this journey and feel lucky that I am still here and present and functioning and smiling and vibrant. So I definitely recommend for everyone to " get all up in it ". Enjoy rather than worry, laugh instead of being critical, smile instead of having grumpy thoughts, move around and enjoy being in your body, be still and feel the high of being connected with soul, and love everybody no matter what. These actions have truly enhanced my life. Being one means being with everyone else because we all come from the same and are the same and breathe the same. Being one means letting yourself stay connected with everybody and everything. Being one means getting all up in it no matter what!

​Thx for reading!  xo Tami

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#metoo?

6/7/2018

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Yes I am a feminist at the core. Yes I want to support and build a community of strong women. Yes I want to speak my mind. Yes I want to feel good. Yes I believe we are all free to do what we want and believe what we want. This is what is at the core of EVERY human being. Not just women. 


I want these ideas for men as well. My perspective on this issue has expanded throughout the decades but it always comes back to the same thing when I look and evaluate and ponder… We all have experienced the lack of… self-esteem & self-worth, we seek approval & have doubted our SELF throughout our lifetime. I don’t care who you are AND if you say No I have not, I believe you have. If you have ever felt a “not good” feeling you have likely experienced a deviation from your soul/spirit which is WHO you really are in this universe. It’s not bad, it’s just what happens because we are human. 


As I have also said before, we are all doing the very best we can at every moment in time based on what we know. I believe this without a doubt. Does it mean I want to be around you all the time, no. Is that ok. Yes. I look at life as seasonal, we change and expand all the time. Our life and bodies are ever changing. We have good feelings and bad feelings and they guide us through life. We have contrast  to push us to where we want to be and towards what we desire. We REALLY do have POWER over our SELF since we have the power to essentially control our MINDS and our ACTIONS and our INTERACTIONS. If you don’t believe me, when was the last time someone told you to do something and you did it? Why did you do it? You didn’t have to. You chose to. 


It’s time we start steering our own life and retraining our brain so we move in a direction that feels good. It’s time to take responsibility for our SELF and build a STRONG ME so we have fewer and fewer incidents throughout our life that could get us into some not so good feeling type of situations. Laws of the universe indicate what you vibrate is what you attract and what is going on in your life is simply displaying where YOU are at in your own life. So next time you aren’t feeling so hot in a situation ask yourself where you are in YOUR life before you put energy into blaming externally because that “picture moment” is projecting exactly what is going on internally with you.  The YOU that got YOU where YOU are in this very moment. Don’t beat yourself up wit you don’t like it, realize it is happening to push you towards where you want to be.


It took me years of unsuccessful relationships, a past with traumatic incidents, social difficulties, family disconnections, and cancer to kick my SELF into high gear to really understand what was going on with me. What had I been doing, thinking, believing, and acting in order for me to have such rockiness in my life. The most freeing part is that I did it all, the good and the not so good. I did it. The other most freeing part was it is all in the past and today is a new day. I do not live by the past anymore. I live today on. For me, a quick look at past situations has allowed me to understand myself better and be more gentle and compassionate towards myself which has allowed me to grow and expand past where I was,  in holding patterns for years. HOWEVER, If I ever dig deep into my past again I know it is just to quickly take a look and let go rather than hold on for dear life. I am not a victim and I am not a villain. I am a  fun and vibrant soul that has a body that is strong and a mind that is capable of more than I ever thought possible. In fact, this is everyone. 


Everyone has a part in #metoo. We all have the responsibility to be the best we can based on our own personal desires. Its ok to be selfish and get your self together. THEN you have enough and can be enough to really give to others and give to the world. Each day you replenish and keep refilling your self, then giving to others. This is the only way to get and stay in alignment with yourself so we can all live good lives. This is how we can all get along. This is how we can all think of each other as equals no matter what. This is how we can truly be divine.


So we all have a story in #metoo and it starts with our own SELF. 

When I started my self-healing cancer journey 2 1/2 years ago I never knew it would have evoked so many emotions, catapulted me into the biggest self-expansion to date, enhanced my daily living and happiness, help me really heal my self from my self, and never in a million years would I have grown to really know myself so well. It's like I am discovering who I really am for the first time. I am so appreciative at this eyes wide open approach and proud to say I did it and will continue to do it! have eliminated my victim of #metoo and never accepted that I could be part of a stereotypical statistic. These years of contrast have allowed me to seek self healing that feels good for me no matter what. NO MATTER WHAT. Ley me say it again, NO MATTER WHAT. The biggest advantage I have now is that I steer my life based on Me and NOTHING else. I am not heartless, just a big heart that is READY. 

My dad always woke us girls up by saying " rise and shine". I would get annoyed. Today I think  it is the best saying ever. My dad is always so cheery in the mornings and loves to cook breakfast. He has always had his own way to start the day right. I can finally say #metoo. Thanks Dad. 



#mystory continues and thanks to all who have been interested or followed my endeavors and new thoughts and beliefs and action- i have had so many conversations with people to date and am amazed at how a journey can open up so many cans of worms ( in a good way) - it truly has been a circle of love and I feel lucky to be part of this whole experience

Much love- Tami xo
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    Tami xo
    It's a long story.
    I have documented parts of my Cancer Journey starting in November 2015.
    ​Thx for reading.

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